My theory on the blogging craze

So I'm sure you are all aware of this blogging craze that has taken over our world? Every man and his dog writes a blog (well maybe the dog doesn't) but it seems everywhere you look people are writing blogs, even  me!  There are millions of blogs to follow and just not enough time in our lives to read them all.  I love blogging, I love seeing all the 'Mummy Bloggers' being successful and making an actual living from them.  Its truly inspiring.  I would love to do that myself one day but at this point in my life I don't feel I have enough to say or even the time to write it so I'm happy tapping out a blog that I try to do every few weeks.

I was thinking about all the 'Mummy Bloggers' I know and it made me think about how lucky we are to live in a world that is so connected by social media.  We are able to create friendships through Twitter and Facebook, through joining blogs and communicating with people we never would have had the chance to do without these forums.  We can find real friends and support groups and we have access to endless amounts of advice and knowledge not available to previous generations.

Thinking of this made me think of my 68 year old mum and what her life was like when she was in her 30s and 40s.  I'm truly amazed that she managed to get through it so well without the support of a lot of friends or family.  She had no internet, no mobile phone, not many good friends and my dad was hardly around as he traveled a lot and played golf a hell of a lot too.  My mum worked part time and took me to dancing 4 times a week and my brother to football 3 times a week.  She had dinner on the table every night, ironed like a mad woman, looked after a dog, 2 cats and at one stage a horse and I can never remember her complaining once!  The problem was, my mum was lonely, so lonely in fact that she ended up having an affair with the man who owned the petrol station near our house.  This affair rocked our family to the core once it was found out and I remember my father sobbing in front of me (who was probably 9 at the time) and me having no clue what it all meant.  Looking back now I know that my mother was not the only one to blame, as I said my father was not around much, lived the life style most men in the 70's lived, worked, played golf, stayed at the club till late.  I can't blame my mum for looking for attention elsewhere.

What I'm wondering is, if my mum had social media around back then, would she have had an affair or would she have found attention in a different way like so many of us seem to do these days?  Having the guidance of 300 or so Twitter followers may have stopped her from taking the plunge. Reading other women's experiences in their blogs may have given her the courage to talk to my dad before she strayed. Talking to close friends on Facebook may have given her the support she needed to make some changes in her life that were definitely needed.  I guess we will never know but I do feel that having these forums does help millions of people think twice before making life changing decisions.

Back in the 60s and 70s women's lives were so different especially once they married and had children.  Stay at home mums stayed mostly at home.  Of course some were lucky enough to have friends and were able to go out and do lunch occasionally but in general a lot of women were lonely and bored.

Now we have endless opportunities to be entertained at home, we can blog, we can cruise the web, we can chat online, we can Skype, we can study, we can build our own little empires, the list is endless.  Who would honestly have time to have an affair?  I'm so inspired by women who do any or all of these things and still run a household, bring up children, work in a normal job and still manage to be healthy and happy.

Of course there is the other side of the coin where women who are unhappy at home get caught up in social media forums, get sidetracked by the cyber world, take chances they may not have taken before, neglect the important people in their real lives because they want to escape it.  Sometimes facing our own unhappiness is the hardest thing to do and hiding in our internet world helps us get through the daily grind.

Whatever it is that tickles your fancy as far as social media is concerned, I think it pretty much goes without saying that the women of today are a hell of a lot better off than our mothers and grandmothers because of the affect that it has on our lives and because of all the millions of 'Mummy Bloggers' who take the time to share their knowledge and experiences.

Anyway, the story ends well for my beloved mum, after 2 years of heartache and confusion my parents packed up our lives and moved to Queensland for a fresh start and I'm happy to report they are still together.  Now that is truly amazing!

If you write a blog that you think I should read, let me know, I would love to!

Love ya guts
Katie

The Mummy rules

I have recently had the pleasure of having my high school best friend and her 2 year old little boy stay with us for a few weeks.  It was great to have them here whilst they got their shit together after living overseas for 2 years in Vegas.


Having a 2 year old in the house was very interesting as we have gotten over the stage of having to put things up high, put the breakable stuff away and watch the kids on the stairs and there were a few moments of panic during the time they were here but all in all it was a fun experience for my kids as well as them.  


My friend has mostly been living the life of a single mum since she had her son as her husband is an entertainer and there were many times that he was away working on cruise ships for weeks on end and also when he eventually did get a show in Vegas he was working long and late hours so she struggled through as best she could with not much support from friends and no family.  When she got to our place the lifestyle and routine was completely different to what they were used to but they settled in well and the timezone change seemed to work out well for naps and going to bed at 8 or 9 instead of midnight which is what they did most nights in Vegas.


The difficulty of staying with close friends is knowing when to bite your tongue when they do something differently to how you do it and knowing when it's ok to comment on how they do things.  There were many times I wanted to say something to her about what she was feeding him, or how much juice she was giving him or why he wasn't hungry or how she shouldn't be letting him stay up so late but I just kept biting my tongue and hoping that the little problems I could see happening would sort themselves out once she got settled in her own place.


It got me thinking about when you have your first child, about all the advice you are given, all the comments you endure from people who have done it before, all the remarks from people who think they are doing it right and you are doing it wrong.  It really can be so intimidating and frustrating, you wonder how you ever go out in public again!


It would be so much easier if we stuck to some rules, some Mummy Rules as I call them and I have listed some below: (excuse the language in advance)

The Newborn stage

1. Do not brag about how your little cherub sleeps through the night at 6 weeks old.  For those of us whose little cherubs don't sleep through, this is the worst brag as we are tired and irritated and our lack of sleep is making us want to hurt you badly right now. 
2. Do not tell us how easy your birth was, how you didn't even have an epidural, how it was all over in 3 hours.  All we are thinking right now is that you must have one very loose vagina for that baby to have come out so darn easy.  That is the only way it happened so bloody fast!
3. Do not even bother telling us your baby doesn't have problems with Re flux, Croup, wind or any other stupid baby problem that makes our baby scream for 4 hours on end every night before bed and makes us have to spend hundreds of dollars at the chiropractor because our backs are so fucked up from rocking that little cherub to sleep every few hours!
4. DO tell us that you are super tired, super stressed and struggling with the whole experience but absolutely loving every moment of being a new mum and we will totally agree with you on all of that shit!

The Toddler stage

1. Do not brag about how your toddler is so smart, can say so many words, sing the alphabet and even do simple maths sums already, we do not give a fuck if he is a genius right now because we are still tired from the baby stage.
2. Do not tell us how your toddler sleeps through the night, doesn't have a dummy, bottle or comforter anymore and never has a tantrum at the shops.  That cannot be honestly true? Really?
3. Do not tell us that your toddler has an amazing diet and never eats crap only healthy organic stuff you make yourself and never says no to anything you offer..we are just not believing it.
4. Do not even begin to think we will believe you when you tell us your toddler is toilet training themselves before they have even reached 2!  That shit does not happen in the real world and if does we do not want to know!  Nappies are costing us a fortune right now.
5. Do not tell us that you are loving every single moment of being a mum to a toddler who has a mind of their own and that you wont put them in day care because you can't stand to be apart from them for one minute because if you are a human that cannot possibly be true?
6. DO tell us that you are exhausted, grumpy and stressed but you are loving the challenges and are especially loving the days you have them in child care because you get to get your hair done and actually have some 'me time' which you desperately need right now.  We will believe you and love you for your honesty.

The Pre-school age

1. Do not brag about how your little cherub is so clever and amazing that they are learning school work already in day care and can write their whole name and do maths sums that are not even taught in Prep already!
2. Do not tell us that your child doesn't get separation anxiety when you leave them at day care to go to work and does not cling to your leg like a desperate animal begging their mummy not to leave them in this hell hole called kindy.
3. Do not tell us that your child has never bitten, hit, scratched, pushed, punched or even kicked another child at day care cos we honestly just cannot believe that a child like that actually exists in the real world!
4. Do not tell us that your pre-school child goes to bed so easily without an argument, can read their own books and sleeps through the night without coming up into your bed every night cos we may have to kill you right now, we are still tired from the newborn stage.
5. DO tell us that your pre-school child has been in trouble at day care for pushing little Johnny and wet their pants and wont sleep in their own bed and we will sympathies with you and bring you alcohol to help you through the rough days!

The Primary school days

1. Do not tell us that your child is in the top of the prep class, already reading level 13 and has been asked to help the other prep kids with their reading because we are still struggling with writing our first name in letters we can actually decipher!
2. Do not tell us that your darling cherub is so popular that they are getting invited to every single prep kids party and that other kids are actually fighting over who can hang out with your little cherub cos that little cherub may turn out to be a little smartarse who bullies other kids who are not so popular as they get older.
3. Do not tell us that your cherub never answers you back, never wants anything when you go the shops, never eats Macca's and never has meltdowns whilst waiting for something in a line because now we know you are making that shit up and perhaps you are self medicating every night to ensure that you can make it through this wonderful life with your perfect child!
4. DO tell us that you lose your shit regularly, struggle with your kids on a daily basis, need alcohol to help you through, love spending time away from them but are still enjoying being a mum and looking forward to the challenges ahead.

Now I'm sure there are many more rules that we can all add to these but for now these are the ones that spring to mind that real people have actually told me over the past few years.  I'm sure that as our kids get older and grow into teenagers there will be so many more rules that we should abide by but I just don't even want to go there until I really have to!

If you follow the above rules, we will then know you are living in the real world with us and we will be happy to hang with you and to lend a hand or any advice that you ask from us and we will enjoy this crazy ride together!

Love ya guts

Katielou