So I'm going to start this post by admitting that I am a reality TV nut. I love my Foxtel and admit I watch a lot of crap that most people would switch off within a minute of it starting but for me it's light entertainment which helps me relax and it's also awesome fun to bitch about on twitter with other reality TV addicts.
One of the shows I have been watching lately is called Newlyweds - The First Year and it is an extremely entertaining little number which makes me cringe and laugh at the same time. It is based on 4 American couples from different walks of life and their first year of marriage and the struggles they face regarding many things including money, power issues, pregnancy and differences of opinions.
One couple has a Greek background, one couple are gay, one couple are African American and the last couple has an Indian Bollywood actress wife with her typical blonde American jockey type husband. They are all extremely different but are all facing very similar issues one of which seems to be more prominent and that is the money issue. The couple which have raised my hackles the most are the Greek couple. He seems to be a relatively successful business man and she had a career before marriage but gave it up to be a housewife once they married. Within a few weeks of her being stuck at home doing the housework she realised that she may have made a mistake by giving up her career as he was in charge of the money and she was paid an allowance which was all new to her and he didn't like the way she got bored so went shopping and spent the money. She found herself having to justify every penny and he then decided to cut back her allowance as he wasn't impressed with her spending habits! The poor thing was bored out of her brain so what else was she to do?
After a few months she fell pregnant which she was rapt about but then the husband started complaining about all the money she was spending on the nursery! 2 things have pissed me off immensely about this couple, the first thing was when they were tallying up the money they received from guests at their wedding and he created an Excel Spreadsheet which he wrote every guests name down with the amount they received from them. One guest only gave them $150 and he had the nerve to call them cheap skates! I spat my vodka out when he said that! They made $40,000 from their guests so to complain about $150 was just plain ridiculous.
The next thing that pissed me off was after their baby shower was over he calculated they had received $3500 worth of gifts which was a major score for them but to me was just plain disgusting. It seems the husband's focus on money is really quite ugly.
Anyway this brings me to a conversation I had with an friend on twitter last week who was excited to be moving into her new house they had been building for a while. She was a bit down that they wouldn't have much furniture to go into the new house for awhile as she had to wait for her husband to take her shopping to buy stuff as it is his money so she can't buy anything without him. I found this to be pretty weird as to me when people are married isn't the money 'their' money not 'his money'? Of course I understand everyone has their own way of looking after the finances and I also understand that some of us are a bit hopeless with money and need to be given a budget but it saddens me to think that some people may be in a situation where they don't have access to money without asking their partner if they are a stay at home mum and don't earn their "own" money.
I have always been very lucky with my husband when it comes to money. He is the kind of person that trusts me explicitly and has never had an issue with any money that I spend. When we first moved in together we created a joint bank account where both of our wages went into and then we both had individual accounts where we got an amount put into each week which we could do whatever we wanted to do. When we bought our first apartment we got rid of these accounts and just had a joint account and we have never had a problem 13 years later. My husband came into our relationship already owning an apartment and I came in with nothing, zilch, zero but he never felt the need to remind me of this and I'm happy to say money has never been an issue for us over the years.
I understand that people do things differently now and I would be interested to hear how it works for you and your partner but it still seems strange to me that when a woman is at home raising a family and doing the most important job in the world that she would not have access to money when she wanted it and would have to wait for him to give her an allowance as it was his money and not theirs.
Of course I don't know anything about their relationship and perhaps this is the way they decided to do things when they got married so who am I to judge? It may work for them and it also may work for the couple in the Newlyweds show but in the meantime it is certainly entertaining viewing and its also great to yell profanities at when I'm having a quiet vodka by myself and my dedicated reality TV addicts on twitter!
Love Katie
xx
