Dear 2020, please fuck off and go right back to where you came from which was probably Hell to be honest!
I really don't know where to start with this blog but I do know I needed to let out some frustrations and writing them down nearly makes you feel a bit better.
This past week has been very tough for my family as we had to place my 77 year old father into an aged care facility as he has advanced Parkinson's Disease and also Dementia and over the past 6 months he has deteriorated rapidly and my 76 year old mother just couldn't manage his full time care anymore. To make the decision to put him into full time care was not an easy one and eventually the decision was taken out of our hands and his Dr advised us that it was in everyone's best interests for him to go.
The problem is that my father is not 100% gone yet, he still knows who we all are and he can still hold a small conversation with us but he does get very confused and his mobility is quite bad. But, after him being in the home for only 4 days it has come to my realisation that he is probably the healthiest person there as the other residents are all completely gone in the brain and not mobile and to see my dad there with these other poor souls is absolutely heartbreaking. The emotional turmoil it gives you to see him there is keeping me awake at night and I'm on the verge of tears 24/7. I know it will eventually calm down and it is the safest place for him but this adjustment period is a nightmare.
So, 2020 is 100% shit for everything that it has brought onto the world; bush fires, floods, the death of Koby Bryant, Covid-19, Racist wars and unrest all over the world, and now my dad going into care, what more can the Universe throw at us?
Yes, Covid-19 has been one hell of a shit storm for the whole world, a pandemic we never imagined would happen to us and as I type this, it seems to be blowing up in a 2nd wave as many people predicted it would. But for me there were some good things to come out of it. At first I was in panic mode, how would I survive as my work closed down, thankfully Golf was still allowed to be played in QLD and then the JobKeeper payment came into play so I was one of the lucky ones, I got to work 2 days a week and keep money coming in and I relished in the 5 day weekends and the chance to have a break from full time work. I started getting some fitness back, I taught myself how to fly my drone better and I spent time with my kids. It was the first time I hadn't worked full time for many years and I knew it wouldn't last so I enjoyed it as much as I could. I've strengthened some beautiful friendships with people who mean a lot to me by having that extra time to spend with them, and most importantly I've been able to help my mum deal with dad and this has helped me be a better mum myself.
So we are nearly half way through the year and what more can 2020 do to us? What crazy drama will we see in our world in the last half of the year?
I'm thinking that whatever it throws at me I will deal with as best I can because I don't think anything can shock me now. I know that the journey ahead for my father is downhill and who knows how long that will play out but you can only do what you can and with some amazing friends around me I know I will get through it somehow.
Katie xx
