Ok so we all know getting old sux, I really don't think there could be a better way to describe it especially after you turn 30, its definitely all down hill from there. We all know that sagging skin sux, boobs hanging south and not all perky sux, wrinkles suck, forgetting stuff sux, being unwanted in the workplace sux, I could go on and on but I wont. You get the picture.
This week getting old really sucked, not for me but for my dad. My 70 year old father learnt he has Parkinson's disease and that sux.
We have had the suspicion for awhile, a few little things which my mum had noticed, a bit of shaking, walking like a robot, restless leg syndrome, all pointers to Parkinson's. But when you actually hear it from the Dr that yes it is, you kinda get the wind knocked out of you because it makes you realise that Hey my dad isn't going to be around forever and this might get a bit ugly. When we first found out it might be PD, we all tried to make light of it and said, Well at least its not Alzheimer's and you won't forget us soon, at least you aren't battling cancer like so many other people (and then he reminded us he does have Prostate Cancer and has been battling that for 5 years) so we shut up pretty quickly with those jokes. At the end of the day, it's a disease which effects millions of people and can either go quickly or slowly and thankfully dad's prognosis is good for now and its only early stages so we are definitely thankful for that.
When I think of my dad I think of a tall man with thick black hair, a biggish nose, lots of charisma and the life of the party but in reality he is so different now. He still has a good head of hair but it's mostly grey, still got the biggish nose but the charisma and the life of the party seems to have all but disappeared. Looking back I think I know when he lost those 2 things and it was about 3 years ago.
My dad's career was always based in the sporting industry, he worked for companies like Puma, Adidas, Yonex, Spalding and he was always very social, played a LOT of golf, was always going to social events, hosting dinner parties and sporting boxes and was always surrounded by sporting people. When I was growing up in Victoria we hosted a cricket day at my place with some of the West Indies cricket team playing back yard cricket with my brother and our friends, I still have the memories of those tall giants and mum also reminded me that she cooked a big Chinese banquet including pork which she was horrified to find out later that they don't eat because of their religion! This was the life I grew up with and it was a pretty enjoyable one.
Later in my life my dad was running his own golf company on the Gold Coast and I was living in Sydney. He rang me one night and asked me to help him do a resume. I was pretty bewildered as dad had always just been offered jobs so had never had to apply for a one and he had his own company so why would he need a resume? As it turns out things were a bit tough and there was a job he wanted to apply for and he needed my help! I was chuffed he actually had asked me. The position was for a CEO of a private golf club opening on the Coast and the perks and salary were amazing. He was made for this job and I knew it would be a perfect opportunity for him. He was 59 and still giving it his all, I was so proud but also nervous for him. Thankfully he got the job and both his and my mum's lives changed for the better.
They both were able to have memberships at the club and met a lot of new people and it gave them a new lease on life. Mum took up golf for the first time in her life and she loved it, she wasn't a golf widow anymore! They went on lots of amazing holidays with their new friends, were very social and seemed to be very happy for a few years. I moved back to the Coast and watched them enjoying these perks but also noticed my dad seemed very stressed and very cranky a lot. He worked long hours and he seemed to go grey overnight. Even though dad was enjoying his life he was also dealing with a lot of problems regarding the club, the rich members and their little issues on a daily basis. Mum was getting sick of him bringing his crankiness home and they seemed to be fighting a lot.
One day at work I received a call from mum telling me dad had gone to work, only to be told that the Board had told him his contract wasn't to be renewed, pack your things, leave your keys to the Mercedes and don't come back. They were in shock. Apparently a lot of the members didn't like the way my dad had run the club, being a stickler to the rules, following the procedures and not bending the rules which is what a lot of wealthy members expected him to do. He was a shattered man, a lot of so called friends had gone behind his back and voted against him and this was when my father changed. The lack of loyalty, the betrayal and the loss of income, friends and lifestyle rocked him so badly that he has never been the same.
This may have been when the Parkinson's disease reared its ugly head. The stress and pressure was enough to give anyone a heart attack.
Over the past 3 years my parents have gotten back on their feet, they have made the best of a shitty situation and they have powered on. They have held on to friendships that meant something to them and they have actually enjoyed their semi retirement without having the money to be extravagant. They have helped me immensely with my kids and have always been there to lend a helping hand or even money if we have needed it. I still don't think my dad has ever gotten his charisma back though, there still seems to be a bit of sadness in his eyes, a bit of regret that his life didn't turn out the way he expected it to. It is something that makes me very sad and now discovering he has PD it makes me understand why he hasn't got his charisma back. He has been battling a silent disease without even knowing it and he has done pretty well considering the circumstances.
Who knows what the future holds for my dad and although it's scary its also a bit of a relief to know what we are facing now and to know that we have support and knowledge to help us get through it.
Getting old does suck but it's something we all have to face whether we are wealthy or poor, skinny or fat.
I'm just glad I get to enjoy it with dad for as long as I can.
Love Katie
Love ya guts
