Starting Christmas Early

Last week my kids and I put our Christmas decorations and tree up.  I know it's early but we have a tradition in this house of starting Christmas early and even though some people think we are crazy (my husband) it actually really helps to get you in the festive mood.

I'm not sure how it comes around so quickly to be honest.  One minute it's August and I'm organising my son's birthday and then the shops start putting up their decorations and it is really quite ridiculous.  I tend to get a bit pissed off with this and of course a bit stressed when I think about the whole present shopping issue and what the hell to get my kids this year as they seem to already have everything on the planet and also still believe in Santa so their lists consist of an Apple Mac computer, a surfboard, hair dryer, curler and straightener, most expensive Lego monstrosity ever created and a Furby!  When I tell them that they probably wont get all of these things as they are all very expensive their response is "but Santa doesn't pay for any presents!  The elves make them all!"  Um yea, that shit just aint true but ok maybe Santa will need to focus more on the poor kids this year and as we aren't poor you probably wont get everything on your list so you may want to revisit the list. (so close to telling them Santa doesn't exist here).

Anyway after stressing over having the biggest Christmas lunch in our new house for both sides of the family and also having the in-laws stay here for 3 weeks (yes I'm not joking there) I realise that I'm being a massive scrooge and I need to do something to fix it so putting up the decorations is my way of letting Christmas in to my brain and letting the festiveness flow through my veins and surprisingly it actually works!

I always visit the best cheap shop on the Coast called What's Cheap (I could spend 8 hours in there)  and I end up spending a shit load of money on new decorations and lots of Christmas crap which is truly not needed and this is when my excitement kicks in.  I guess if you let yourself jump on the bandwagon you may actually enjoy the ride.

This year I even let the kids decorate the tree without any help from me which seems to be the one thing that most of us want control over and find difficult to leave as is but as they get older they seem to figure out that not every bauble goes on one branch and it looks better if you  actually spread them out just a little!

So here is their finished product which looks just fine to me. It may be a little crazy but that definitely represents our family and our style!

So my message to you people who are stressing over Christmas is to just let it go, let the festiveness in to run through your veins and take over your brain and you will definitely be jumping on the Christmas bandwagon with those of us who like to start Christmas early!  

Oh yea and I also find that lots of alcohol definitely helps to get you in the festive mood too!

Have fun

Love Katie xx

When is it ok to go backwards?

Recently my husband made a drastic career change and left his well paying, stressful job to go back to his working roots and take a job as a Stevedore, (glamorous name for wharfie) which is what he was doing when we first met 14 years ago.  To say I was nervous about his decision is a big understatement.  The pay cut was over $30K and the job entails shift work and weekends so it was going to be a big adjustment for the whole family.  

In his past job he worked in an office in Brisbane for a large international company and was under a lot of pressure on a daily basis.  He left for work at 5am and got home most days at 5.30pm depending on traffic.  He was never able to take the kids to school or pick them up and missed after school activities unless he was on holidays.  He would get home from work and would still be on the phone, exhausted and grumpy. He would be in bed by 8.30pm and was pretty unsociable.  We got used to this routine and managed to live a pretty comfortable life, not having to worry about our finances, never having a budget and being able to buy things when we wanted.  But he wasn't happy.  He missed spending time with the kids and hated the stress that came with his position.  When the opportunity came to go for the new job we discussed it in detail and thought of ways to cut back on our spending to try and manage the pay cut.  In my heart I knew he would take the job but in my head I was screaming "This isn't fair! I don't want to go backwards!"

Of course I would never have told him not to take the job, obviously I want him to be happy and I want the kids to be able to spend more time with him but it irked me that our lifestyles were going to change dramatically.  Don't get me wrong, I am not a materialistic person, I actually hate shopping and never spend money on myself, but I just felt scared and anxious about what we would have to cut back on.  Both of my kids do a lot of activities, piano, drama, surfing, football and gymnastics and I don't want to tell them they have to cut back on what they love as we can't afford it any more. We have had to do the 'cutting back' talk to them explaining why we can't stop at the shop after school and get Slurpees twice a week, why we can't do our regular takeaway night every week and tuckshop is now once a fortnight instead of weekly.  Gosh how tragic!

Really, as I type this I'm realising how pathetic this all sounds and how lucky we truly are, we all have our health, we have an awesome house and new pool and we can still afford to eat everyday so I should just shut up and eat a spoonful of concrete! But I guess we all become accustomed to our little luxuries and when we are faced with losing them we naturally become anxious and stressed about the lifestyle change.

The one other thing that is going to be hard to adjust to is having hub home when I'm not used to it, like today for instance which is my day off, I normally love spending time pottering around the house enjoying the peace and doing my own thing but he also has the day off and is hanging around like a bad smell!  This is probably the thing that is going to be the hardest to get used to if I truly admit it!  We actually went shopping together today for the first time in years without the kids and it was weird. (We could actually cruise around the shops without screaming our heads off to stop touching stuff!)  I guess it's something that we will get used to but it may take awhile.

So on the upside of this new job, hub is already appearing less stressed.  He took my son to Oztag on Monday and my daughter to gymnastics yesterday which meant I was able to work later and also get the groceries in peace.  I am also writing this post which means I am getting more time to myself as I would normally be cleaning the house today and rushing around like a maniac but he managed to clean the house yesterday and even scrubbed the showers (swoon) so things seem to be working out so far.

From this point onwards we are watching our pennies and we may even do a budget to stick to (dreading) and I even went to Aldi to do some shopping last week (hated it) and just generally being a bit tighter for the time being to see how we go but generally I think we are going to be ok.

Sometimes it's ok to go backwards and it may even mean that we will all be happier going forward.

Katie
xx

PS the one thing I told him I'm never giving up is my Foxtel so my trashy tv addiction is all safe for now!

Losing your attractiveness

I’m going to start off this post by giving you warning I may sound like a vain bitch at times but its all part of the story!

When I was growing up in Melbourne I was always told by people that I was a pretty girl.  I had long wavy brown hair, a cute face and a funny personality which apparently all added up to a fairly attractive girl who wasn't overly confident but wasn't shy either. We moved to the Gold Coast when I was 12 and one memory I have from those 1^st days of moving was walking up and down the Surfers Paradise Esplanade with a friend, walking my dog and counting how many wolf whistles we could get. Was a fun game back then but now I would be horrified if my daughter did the same thing! My, how times have changed.

Kindy in Melbourne

During the 80s as a teenager living on the Gold Coast where the popular girls had long blonde hair and were skinny and tanned, I had many moments when I hated myself.  I had big hips like my mum, awful curly dull brown hair and was not your typical beach girl which we all aspired to be. When I was 16 my first serious boyfriend left me for one of those gorgeous blonde beach girls and this absolutely killed my confidence for a few years to come.

People,this is my real hair, no perm!

As I grew up and managed to find some confidence in my early 20s (I also managed to tame the hair) I never struggled to find a boyfriend and always had a lot of male attention.  Walking down the street or just through the shopping centre I would receive many looks from guys and it just seemed normal to me.  Going out was always fun and even though I did have my heart broken I managed to break a few hearts of my own along the way. (Sorry to any ex boyfriends reading this now).

Trying out the blonde movement in my 20s

The point I’m trying to make and I’m sure you probably get it by now is that I was a lucky girl who never struggled with being hit with the ugly stick!

My, how times have changed! 20 odd years later and I’m about to turn 44 and have well and truly lost that confidence that I gained in my 20s.  When I walk down the street there are no looks from men, no wolf whistles, not even a glance!  I have become invisible to the male population.  Now some of you will be saying ‘but you are still pretty Katie’ and I thank you in advance for that but you are my friends and family and the people who know me and love me, the strangers I see on a daily basis look at me like I’m a has been with not a lot to offer in the looks department.  Middle aged and boring. 

The question is ‘Am I the type of person who needs that male attention to make myself feel better?’  And the answer is ‘No, although a little tiny bit occasionally would be nice’!

I think pretty much everyone on the planet from the age of 12 wants to be seen as attractive to the opposite sex in someway or another and the harsh reality is that unless we have had a lot of work done like certain Real Housewives of wherever then we are going to lose our attractiveness at some point and that’s just life.

As I have said in a previous post, getting old sux bad!  But, does it suck more for the people who were attractive in their younger years and have experienced some form of adoration or does it suck more for the people who have never had any adoration at all whether they were young or old?  I believe one advantage of growing older is learning what your good points are and making sure that you use those to your best advantage like showing off some excellent legs in a great pair of jeans and hiding the stretch marks at the same time or accentuating a great set of breasts whilst hiding some flabby tuck shop arms in a low cut long sleeve top! 

Anyway, it is not all bad, a few weeks ago my friends and I went out for a girls night to an establishment on the Gold Coast that is well known for single people of all ages to strut their stuff.  There were 10 of us ladies who were dressed nicely and have all looked after ourselves to the best of our ability. We walked into the bar and within seconds men of all ages, shapes and sizes were circling us like a pack of wolves searching for their next prey.  It was really quite hilarious as we were all there just to have fun together but this male attention was something we were not used to.  Looking around the bar we realized that the pickings were quite slim and we were definitely the best of a bunch. 

It made us realize that even though we had lost the better part of our youth, we could still muster up some attention and turn some heads and we had a great laugh about this.  We decided that if we ever felt down or invisible we just had to grab a group of our gorgeous friends, come to this establishment drink cocktails and get a confidence boost because cocktails and friends always make life better!

Still rocking it with the 20 year olds!

Love ya guts

Katie xx

Money and Marriage - how does it work for you?

So I'm going to start this post by admitting that I am a reality TV nut.  I love my Foxtel and admit I watch a lot of crap that most people would switch off within a minute of it starting but for me it's light entertainment which helps me relax and it's also awesome fun to bitch about on twitter with other reality TV addicts.

One of the shows I have been watching lately is called Newlyweds - The First Year and it is an extremely entertaining little number which makes me cringe and laugh at the same time.  It is based on 4 American couples from different walks of life and their first year of marriage and the struggles they face regarding many things including money, power issues, pregnancy and differences of opinions.

One couple has a Greek background, one couple are gay, one couple are African American and the last couple has an Indian Bollywood actress wife with her typical blonde American jockey type husband.  They are all extremely different but are all facing very similar issues one of which seems to be more prominent and that is the money issue.  The couple which have raised my hackles the most are the Greek couple.  He seems to be a relatively successful business man and she had a career before marriage but gave it up to be a housewife once they married. Within a few weeks of her being stuck at home doing the housework she realised that she may have made a mistake by giving up her career as he was in charge of the money and she was paid an allowance which was all new to her and he didn't like the way she got bored so went shopping and spent the money.  She found herself having to justify every penny and he then decided to cut back her allowance as he wasn't impressed with her spending habits!  The poor thing was bored out of her brain so what else was she to do?

After a few months she fell pregnant which she was rapt about but then the husband started complaining about all the money she was spending on the nursery!  2 things have pissed me off immensely about this couple, the first thing was when they were tallying up the money they received from guests at their wedding and he created an Excel Spreadsheet which he wrote every guests name down with the amount they received from them.  One guest only gave them $150 and he had the nerve to call them cheap skates! I spat my vodka out when he said that!  They made $40,000 from their guests so to complain about $150 was just plain ridiculous.
The next thing that pissed me off was after their baby shower was over he calculated they had received $3500 worth of gifts which was a major score for them but to me was just plain disgusting.  It seems the husband's focus on money is really quite ugly.

Anyway this brings me to a conversation I had with an friend on twitter last week who was excited to be moving into her new house they had been building for a while.  She was a bit down that they wouldn't have much furniture to go into the new house for awhile as she had to wait for her husband to take her shopping to buy stuff as it is his money so she can't buy anything without him.  I found this to be pretty weird as to me when people are married isn't the money 'their' money not 'his money'?  Of course I understand everyone has their own way of looking after the finances and I also understand that some of us are a bit hopeless with money and need to be given a budget but it saddens me to think that some people may be in a situation where they don't have access to money without asking their partner if they are a stay at home mum and don't earn their "own" money.

I have always been very lucky with my husband when it comes to money.  He is the kind of person that trusts me explicitly and has never had an issue with any money that I spend.  When we first moved in together we created a joint bank account  where both of our wages went into and then we both had individual accounts where we got an amount put into each week which we could do whatever we wanted to do.  When we bought our first apartment we got rid of these accounts and just had a joint account and we have never had a problem 13 years later.  My husband came into our relationship already owning an apartment and I came in with nothing, zilch, zero but he never felt the need to remind me of this and I'm happy to say money has never been an issue for us over the years.
I understand that people do things differently now and I would be interested to hear how it works for you and your partner but it still seems strange to me that when a woman is at home raising a family and doing the most important job in the world that she would not have access to money when she wanted it and would have to wait for him to give her an allowance as it was his money and not theirs.

Of course I don't know anything about their relationship and perhaps this is the way they decided to do things when they got married so who am I to judge?  It may work for them and it also may work for the couple in the Newlyweds show but in the meantime it is certainly entertaining viewing and its also great to yell profanities at when I'm having a quiet vodka by myself and my dedicated reality TV addicts on twitter!

Love Katie
xx

An overseas adventure

Today I unpacked the 2nd last box to be unpacked after moving 3 months ago.  It was full of old photos and I also came across my travel diaries I had kept from my Europe backpacking adventure in 1989/90.  I started reading the diaries and at times I was cracking up laughing but at other times I was nearly crying because of the stupid things I had done and the utter homesick I experienced during the 22 months I was away.  I was 18 and although I was a good girl with my head screwed on pretty well, I was 18 and still so innocent and green.

The diary I was reading was from when I was in Switzerland and looking for work at the beginning of the ski season and finding it impossible to survive without a lot of money.  I was constantly ringing my parents reverse charges to ask them to top up my credit card and feeling so guilty because I couldn't get a job in an unseasonably warm start to the season.  I was with a good friend whom I had met in London and we had an instant connection so we had each other in this weird and freezing little town of Interlaken and then finally after weeks of waiting around we got a job in a ski village called Murren.  I wont go into the details of Murren but let me just explain that in my diary I mentioned that there weren't many good sorts in Murren and also everyone's last name seemed to be Von Allman so there may have been some inter-breeding of some sort going on!

This is the chalet we worked at for 4 months. ( I think scnee means snow)

Anyway it was 4 months of absolute hell as we were dish hands in a restaurant at the top of the mountain and we had never worked so hard in all of our 18 years! (plus Swiss people are just plain unfriendly)

After reading this diary I am embarrassed to say that I may have been slightly promiscuous whilst I was travelling overseas and I was definitely having a lot of fun as well as being homesick.  The main aim for us seemed to be to drink our way around Europe and we also seemed to smoke a lot of pot which is something that I never did at home and never do now but when you are not in your own environment and everyone is doing it you certainly jump on that bandwagon.  

Looking back now on my trip it was truly an amazing experience and even though I should have made some better choices along the way I certainly don't regret it.  The reason I'm thinking about my trip now and not just because of finding my diaries but because my niece is heading to Europe in a few weeks and she has asked me where I would recommend for her to go.  I rolled off the usual suspects like Rome, Paris and Austria and also said you cannot miss out on Greece, Paros Island in particular which is an island where both her father and I spent a lot of time but I also started wondering about what it is like over there now for a young girl to travel to. After the atrocity of the young British soldier being murdered on the street in London a few weeks ago and with so much unrest in the world because of religious beliefs is it safe for our kids to do the usual backpacking trip to Europe anymore?  

I have always told my children that I want them to travel and see the world before they settle down but now I'm worried that by the time they are old enough to do that will it be too unsafe in some places for them to go at such a young age?  When I was there in 1990 I worked at Heathrow Airport Terminal 3 for a few months and this was the terminal where the planes left to Iraq, Iran and the middle Eastern countries, we had soldiers there on guard with machine guns and sniffer dogs and I used to shit myself on a daily basis just walking past these guys.  But this was the only thing we ever witnessed that may have been in the least bit scary,there was no protests or violence and we never felt scared on our travels.  This may have been because we had the innocence of being young Australians and had never witnessed anything in the least bit scary in our lives growing up.

Now we have September 11, the Bali bombings, the London bombings, the recent Boston bombings just so many awful and tragic events that have taken place in the past 20 years its just way to scary to even think about my kids travelling overseas without me or armed security guards in tow!  Of course I realise people are still doing it and we cannot stop our adventures or stop our kids from learning and experiencing the amazing world that is out there but its just something I'm glad I have to wait at least another 10 years before I get told that "I'm doing an overseas trip mum,wish me luck!"

In the meantime I can only hope my niece stays safe and has an amazing adventure, she is only going for 4 weeks so at least its no way near as long as my poor parents had to worry.  I really don't know how they did it!

Katie

xx

Me at the leaning tower of Pisa

I was so lucky to experience this, was truly amazing

Getting old sux bad

Ok so we all know getting old sux, I really don't think there could be a better way to describe it especially after you turn 30, its definitely all down hill from there.  We all know that sagging skin sux, boobs hanging south and not all perky sux, wrinkles suck, forgetting stuff sux, being unwanted in the workplace sux, I could go on and on but I wont. You get the picture.

This week getting old really sucked, not for me but for my dad.  My 70 year old father learnt he has Parkinson's disease and that sux.

We have had the suspicion for awhile, a few little things which my mum had noticed, a bit of shaking, walking like a robot, restless leg syndrome, all pointers to Parkinson's.  But when you actually hear it from the Dr that yes it is, you kinda get the wind knocked out of you because it makes you realise that Hey my dad isn't going to be around forever and this might get a bit ugly.  When we first found out it might be PD, we all tried to make light of it and said, Well at least its not Alzheimer's and you won't forget us soon, at least you aren't battling cancer like so many other people (and then he reminded us he does have Prostate Cancer and has been battling that for 5 years) so we shut up pretty quickly with those jokes.  At the end of the day, it's a disease which effects millions of people and can either go quickly or slowly and thankfully dad's prognosis is good for now and its only early stages so we are definitely thankful for that.

When I think of my dad I think of a tall man with thick black hair, a biggish nose, lots of charisma and the life of the party but in reality he is so different now.  He still has a good head of hair but it's mostly grey, still got the biggish nose but the charisma and the life of the party seems to have all but disappeared.  Looking back I think I know when he lost those 2 things and it was about 3 years ago.

My dad's career was always based in the sporting industry, he worked for companies like Puma, Adidas, Yonex, Spalding and he was always very social, played a LOT of golf, was always going to social events, hosting dinner parties and sporting boxes and was always surrounded by sporting people. When I was growing up in Victoria we hosted a cricket day at my place with some of the West Indies cricket team playing back yard cricket with my brother and our friends, I still have the memories of those tall giants and mum also reminded me that she cooked a big Chinese banquet including pork which she was horrified to find out later that they don't eat because of their religion!  This was the life I grew up with and it was a pretty enjoyable one.

Later in my life my dad was running his own golf company on the Gold Coast and I was living in Sydney.  He rang me one night and asked me to help him do a resume.  I was pretty bewildered as dad had always just been offered jobs so had never had to apply for a one and he had his own company so why would he need a resume?  As it turns out things were a bit tough and there was a job he wanted to apply for and he needed my help!  I was chuffed he actually had asked me.  The position was for a CEO of a private golf club opening on the Coast and the perks and salary were amazing.  He was made for this job and I knew it would be a perfect opportunity for him.  He was 59 and still giving it his all, I was so proud but also nervous for him.  Thankfully he got the job and both his and my mum's lives changed for the better.

They both were able to have memberships at the club and met a lot of new people and it gave them a new lease on life.  Mum took up golf for the first time in her life and she loved it, she wasn't a golf widow anymore!  They went on lots of amazing holidays with their new friends, were very social and seemed to be very happy for a few years.  I moved back to the Coast and watched them enjoying these perks but also noticed my dad seemed very stressed and very cranky a lot.  He worked long hours and he seemed to go grey overnight.  Even though dad was enjoying his life he was also dealing with a lot of problems regarding the club, the rich members and their little issues on a daily basis.  Mum was getting sick of him bringing his crankiness home and they seemed to be fighting a lot.

One day at work I received a call from mum telling me dad had gone to work, only to be told that the Board had told him his contract wasn't to be renewed, pack your things, leave your keys to the Mercedes and don't come back.  They were in shock.  Apparently a lot of the members didn't like the way my dad had run the club, being a stickler to the rules, following the procedures and not bending the rules which is what a lot of wealthy members expected him to do.  He was a shattered man, a lot of so called friends had gone behind his back and voted against him and this was when my father changed.  The lack of loyalty, the betrayal and the loss of income, friends and lifestyle rocked him so badly that he has never been the same.

This may have been when the Parkinson's disease reared its ugly head. The stress and pressure was enough to give anyone a heart attack.

Over the past 3 years my parents have gotten back on their feet, they have made the best of a shitty situation and they have powered on.  They have held on to friendships that meant something to them and they have actually enjoyed their semi retirement without having the money to be extravagant.  They have helped me immensely with my kids and have always been there to lend a helping hand or even money if we have needed it.  I still don't think my dad has ever gotten his charisma back though, there still seems to be a bit of sadness in his eyes, a bit of regret that his life didn't turn out the way he expected it to.  It is something that makes me very sad and now discovering he has PD it makes me understand why he hasn't got his charisma back.  He has been battling a silent disease without even knowing it and he has done pretty well considering the circumstances.

Who knows what the future holds for my dad and although it's scary its also a bit of a relief to know what we are facing now and to know that we have support and knowledge to help us get through it.

Getting old does suck but it's something we all have to face whether we are wealthy or poor, skinny or fat.
I'm just glad I get to enjoy it with dad for as long as I can.

Love Katie
Love ya guts

All dressed up with no where to go

So its been awhile, yes I have been slack and slightly busy lately so I hope you can forgive me?  My last post was on the 29th of November! HOLY CRAP!  I am soo lazy! Unfortunately my real life has gotten in the way and over the past few months a lot has happened. We sold our house and bought a new one, shacked up with my folks for 2 weeks, moved into the new joint, got the kids settled at school, went to Sydney for work, threw a big housewarming party and now finally this weekend I have some time to myself for the first time in months.  It is a bizarre feeling and one I must take advantage of because it doesn't happen very often these days.

The problem is, and I can't believe I'm admitting this but I kinda miss the craziness of the kids.  When you are not used to having so much time child free you tend to forget how to keep yourself busy, (other than the normal boring house work routine,) this is quite ridiculous as I know there would be a million, trillion things to be doing but I have spent the morning thinking, What can I do with myself?

My first idea was go to Ikea, I always love to visit the humongous Swedish shopping experience when I've moved into a new house to buy all the bits and bobs you need (and don't need) but then I thought, can I really be bothered driving for an hour there and back to battle the weekend crowds and most definitely run into other peoples children?  Um yea, no.  Next.

My 2nd idea was to get into the garden and rip out all the weeds that the previous owners let take over and turn into a secret garden of sorts but not in a exciting mysterious way, more like a scary, spiky, dirty way and then the rain just keeps falling so that idea has been squashed as I don't fancy breaking any nails today. Next.

My 3rd idea was to drive to Freedom and have a browse around at all the gorgeous furniture I want to buy for my new home and get some design ideas but then I realised I can't actually afford to buy anything at the moment and it would only depress me and I would end up buying something stupid to appease my depression and my hubby would hate whatever it is that I bought and it would end up being put to the back of the cupboard and taken to the Salvos next time we moved (hopefully not for at least 10 years!) Next.

My 4th idea was to watch a lot of trash TV and sit on the couch eating Red Velvet cupcakes that I baked and have no one to help me eat them but then I thought, how is that different to anything I normally do when the kids are here? Next.

My 5th idea was to ask twitter if they have any ideas of what I should be doing and somebody mentioned I should blog! Well blow me down with a feather (or whatever that saying is) and here I am watching trash TV, sitting on the lounge, eating Red Velvet cupcakes, looking at my weedy garden and blogging at the same time!  I'm a fabulous multi tasker.

Now my only problem is I need a good idea to blog about and because its been so long I think I may have bloggers block. I obviously need to get out more and utilise this childfree time to gather some more blogging ideas so I can come back and write something fabulous and funny.

So another twitter friend suggested I take some of my Red Velvet cupcakes down to her shop so I don't eat them all by myself and whilst I'm there I can have a browse at the gorgeous shops in Burleigh and maybe buy something that my hubby doesn't hate and enjoy the childfree time while I have it because who  knows how long it will be until this opportunity comes around again!!

Be back soon
Love ya guts
Katie