When I decided to get a divorce there was one thing that I never thought about when I was in the midst of all the separation stuff. Will I be by myself forever?
This thought never crossed my mind or even registered at that time because I didn't care. I just wanted to be happy and I had been unhappy for a long time so being by myself actually seemed attractive and something I really wanted at that time.
Now nearly 4 years later and it is definitely on my mind on a regular basis. It is something that a lot of women I know think of because I have a lot of single friends and at the end of the day we would all love to find someone to share our lives with. Once the kids have grown up and moved out and you're on your own most nights, the loneliness definitely does creep up on you and to have someone even just to sit on the lounge with and fight over what to watch on TV seems very attractive but unfortunately quite elusive.
When I think of my friendship circle, at this point in time I have more single friends than I do married ones and most of them are women with the occasional guy thrown in. The ratio of single women to men on the Gold Coast is about 5 to 1 so unfortunately for most of my single girlfriends it looks like we may be single for a long time to come unless we move overseas! Most of us have tried online dating with no real success and the quality of single guys seems to be a little lower than our expectations.
One of the problems I have witnessed is that all the single women are taking care of themselves, (not really a problem for us), but we have access to a lot of things guys don't. We get out hair dyed and styled regularly, we go to the gym or work out in some capacity and we invest in some things that make us look and feel better about ourselves because we want to make an effort just in case we ever meet the man of our dreams down at the local 7/11.
Single men, on the other hand hit an age where they don't seem to care anymore and let themselves go, not worrying about their fitness or their grooming, drinking a little too much and being a bit slobby and the thing is, they can do this because they have a bevvy of single women wanting to meet someone who are willing to accept a man with flaws just to be with someone, anyone!
And of course I'm not saying that women don't have any flaws, god who doesn't have flaws but we seem to want to cover those flaws up more than the men do and this seems so unfair.
In my experience I have never had a problem meeting guys, hell I work at a golf club with over 800 male members so I am surrounded by men of all shapes and sizes on a daily basis. Some of these guys are the most amazing married men, who adore their wives and have been happily married for many years. Some of them just like to play golf 5 days a week to get out of the house away from their wives for as long as possible to hang with their mates. Some are sleazy and cross the line on a daily basis with the female staff but we just take it in our stride and talk about them behind their backs! (code name: sleazy wine bar) and yes I have dated a couple of the members over the past 3 years but have realised that this is definitely not a good idea especially when things turn sour as it just makes it awkward for both me and the guy when they come to the club so that has now been ceased! Lesson learnt the hard way, don't shit where you eat, or something like that?
So where else do we meet men? Going out and clubbing is way too expensive and frankly just not enjoyable anymore, going to trendy bars surrounded by young beautiful things with felt floppy hats and deck shoes is so bad for the middle aged persons ego, meeting men via Instagram has proven to be extremely unsuccessful for me this year (if I get another guy telling me how sexy I am and to please send nudes cos they want to fuck me but only interested in casually hooking up, I may shoot myself) and if another one of my married friends tells me to "Stop looking for Mr Right, you will find someone when the time is right and they will just fall in your lap!" I may just slap them fair in their pretty married face!
Of course being single is definitely not the worst thing in the world, it comes with freedom, independence and living life exactly how you want to, but how good would it be to have someone to cuddle on the lounge during the Winter and to argue with about what to watch on TV and of course to finally get sex fit!! What even is that anyway? Can someone tell me????
So in conclusion, perhaps us girls need to stop making so much effort to look good and the men need to up their game a little bit so we can be on more of an even playing field and perhaps have more of a chance of finding that elusive person that we can get sex fit with again...
Just thinking out loud here people!
Katie xx
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